"...In the dance of sun and water and sky. In the faces of the people who need us most and of the people we most need. In the smell of breakfast cooking on a charcoal fire. Who knows where we will find Him or whether we will recognize Him if we do? Who knows anything even approaching the truth of who He really was? But my prayer is that we will all of us find Him somewhere, somehow, and that He will give us something of his life to fill our emptiness, something of his light to drive back our dark"
-The Great Dance -Frederick Buechner

Monday, August 29, 2011

It happened!

Been forever since a post!
Molly Grace Bieber was born August 25th 2011 and I could cry over how much I love this little girl.  
Giving birth was the most amazing thing I will ever do in life and coming from me that actually says a lot because it had been my biggest fear ever since I learned about the birds and the bees.
So instead of boring everyone I talk to with the details I figure it would be better for everyone to just write them out and get on with life:)
My water broke at 2:00 pm after I had a nap.  I had just been to the clinic earlier that day for a check up and everything just looked normal for being 38 weeks pregnant.

I panicked a bit when my water broke because of my fear of giving birth and Nelson started running around the house like a crazy person trying to get ready for the hospital

We headed to the hospital where they checked to see if my water actually had broken (i thought it was pretty self explanatory by the steady stream of fluid leaking out of me).  So it had definitely broken and I started having some minor contractions.  There was a bit of confusion from everyone as to whether I should stay at the hospital or go home until the contractions got stronger.  To make a long story short, we went home for a bit and started having some fairly strong contractions.  

By about 8:00 we were back at the hospital hooked up to a machine tracking our contractions again.  At this point we were told that we were indeed in labour but the contractions were almost nil and it would be a good 8 hours before anything substantial happened.

I freaked out.

This is because although the stupid machine was saying my contractions were almost nothing, I was seriously struggling.  They hurt so bad I wanted to go throw myself into traffic but there isn't even enough traffic in Threehills to do anything so that was out of the question.  I wasn't remembering anything I learned about breathing either.  I was just panicking and puking.  I'm sure Nelson was quite scared at this point and he kept telling me i could do it and kept saying I sure as heck can not do this.  

Finally, we paged the nurse and told her we thought something was up.  My back hurt like crazy and so she gave Nels a few tips to help out which were "push like crazy against her spine to counteract the baby pushing the other way" This helped.  She also told me to imagine floating on a cloud and surprisingly things actually got better.

This lovely nurse decided check my downstairs area just to see what was going on.  This is where I heard "Holy shit, I feel the head... we need to call the Doctor!" and I thought, "Thank the Dear Lord that I am actually in labour here."  I found out later that I was actually 9 1/2 cm dilated at that point.  Everything moved so fast from there on in its like an awesome dream.  I had a few more hard contractions and I felt like pushing so I did.  

Dr. Calhoun (sp?) was awesome awesome awesome.  She was so calm and supportive I wish I could just give her a giant hug right now.  She offered me some laughing gas once I started doing some serious pushing and i took that sweet sweet gas and it changed my life forever.

Laughing gas was the coolest thing ever.  I could concentrate so well it was crazy.  I remember holding my Moms hand when she got there and admiring her for doing this exact same thing.  I remember looking into the Dr's eyes and listening to her tell me to push.  I remember that nice nurse who kept on telling me how awesome I was doing and when to push and not to let the air out of my mouth when I was pushing.  I remember talking to God about what an amazing experience this was.  I remember thinking how I couldn't wait to tell Krista that this isn't that bad and she can for sure do it.  I remembered Crystal telling me that she just sucked the crap out of that laughing gas mask so I just did that exact same thing 

We also had music which was something that made the experience that much more special.  We had made a baby mix a few weeks earlier of songs I thought would calm me down or had special meaning to us.  I remember the first dance song from our wedding being played ("Oh heavenly day" by Patty Griffin) and being locked on Nels.  I remember "The Greatness of our God" playing and thinking this could not be more true.

And then I felt the pressure from the babe and pushed as hard as I could and there was no pain just determination to get this thing out.  

And then she was out... and Nels got to look over and tell me that we had a beautiful baby girl and we both cried because secretly all along we wanted a Molly.  

They put her on me and I saw her blowing little spit bubbles and I have never loved spit more in all my life

She fed like a champ right away and then soon after that we were wheeled back to our room.  The whole night I just looked to my left and saw Nelson lying next to me and looked to the right and saw Molly and I just couldn't get over how I was the luckiest girl in the world

The end

1 comment:

Krista said...

Had a good cry after reading this!!!